They say love conquers all, but it rarely conquers snoring.
In the US, an estimated 82% of couples share a bed. This is often viewed as an essential component of romantic relationships. However, could sleeping apart actually improve your health?
Quality sleep is vital for physical and mental wellbeing. Since most adults spend six to nine hours asleep every 24 hours, sleeping arrangements significantly impact health.
These arrangements have evolved across cultures. Until the early 20th century, sharing beds with partners, children, extended family, or pets was common. Then, the discovery of germs and hygiene concerns sparked fears regarding disease transmission. Proximity began to be viewed as a health risk. Recently, a surge of celebrities have announced “sleep divorces” but are they right?
Sleeping together offers several benefits. It strengthens closeness, attachment, and intimacy. Research suggests physical effects: couples’ breathing and heart rates can synchronize, contributing to feelings of safety. Co-sleeping can reduce stress and increase oxytocin, the “love hormone.” Consequently, many couples report sleeping better together than apart.
However, what if your partner disrupts your sleep instead of improving it?
Reasons for disruption vary. A partner may snore, use the bathroom frequently, read with lights on, or watch television. They might have conditions like sleep apnea or restless legs syndrome. Hormonal changes, such as menopausal hot flashes or night sweats, also play a role. Furthermore, pregnancy, infant care, or conflicting work schedules can interrupt rest.
When frequent, these disturbances interfere with fundamental processes: sleep onset (how quickly you drift off), sleep maintenance, and total duration. Such disruptions have detrimental effects on physical health. Poor sleep impairs the immune system, increasing susceptibility to infections like colds. It also disrupts digestion and metabolism, raising the risk of weight gain and conditions like diabetes by affecting insulin regulation.
In these situations, sleeping apart may help. It supports better sleep hygiene, though the physical environment is only part of the story; relationship dynamics are equally crucial.
Couples in happy, supportive relationships generally experience better sleep. Conversely, those in unhappy relationships often report poor sleep quality, which further strains the bond.
While separate beds are sometimes viewed as a sign of relationship trouble, this is not necessarily true. If a partner’s behaviour consistently disrupts rest, the health benefits of sleeping separately may outweigh the drawbacks. A “sleep divorce” can be a practical strategy to ensure everyone receives the rest they need.
The Conversation