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The untold story of bedwetting — Gaining a better understanding
In the previous article, I spoke about my personal experience as a child who struggled with bedwetting and what it meant for me emotionally, to have supportive parents.
By
migrator
migrator
Chennai
When this issue came up in a workshop and a parent wanted support, I started researching this subject to get clarity, and a better understanding of the underlying factors of bedwetting. I am presenting the main points I learned, here. This article is not a substitute for the information from a medical professional but can be a starting point to understanding more about bedwetting.
Night time toilet training is a separate milestone from daytime toilet training, and for most children it comes later. Controlling the bladder function during sleep is usually the last stage of potty-training. In other words, it is normal for children to wet the bed while sleeping, during that learning process. This control is typically attained between the ages of 5 and 7 if it doesn’t happen earlier, and is different for each child. Once a child has remained dry through the night for about six months, they are considered toilet trained at night as well.
Primary bedwetting is when the child has never had night-time control over urination. The secondary form refers to bedwetting that occurs after the child has been dry during sleep for six or more months. In this article, we are focussing on the possible causes of secondary bedwetting, and what may help the child eventually stop.
Possible causes
If you are concerned about your child’s bedwetting, ruling out medical issues is the first step. Constipation, Urinary Tract Infection, diabetes, sleep apnea caused by inflamed or enlarged tonsils or adenoids, and even a hormone deficiency could all cause bedwetting in children.
I was very surprised to learn that bedwetting often comes with family history, and only 15 per cent of bedwetters have no history of bedwetting in their families. So, if either parent or a close relative had this challenge, growing up, it increases the chances of a child being prone to bedwetting.
Some children may have naturally small bladders, while others may be deep sleepers. In case of the deep sleepers, the brain takes longer than normal to recognise that the bladder is full and instead of waking up the child, the child’s pelvic floor muscles relax and the bladder empties while he sleeps. This control does develop naturally over time.
Besides physical factors, social stresses like having a new sibling, starting to sleep alone, starting a new school, moving homes or cities, meeting with an accident, a crisis in the family, witnessing a traumatic event or losing a close relative or pet could all cause bedwetting. Also, children who are challenged with learning disorders or attention issues could feel more stressed if not supported adequately, which may lead to bedwetting.
What doesn’t help
It is important to understand that bedwetting is not something the child has complete control over, it is not his/her fault. Most children feel stressed themselves with the fact that they bed wet. When parents try to punish, shame, threaten or bribe the child to try and make them stop bedwetting, it seldom works, and only adds to the child’s stress.
What could help
Children, who are woken once to relieve themselves, wet the bed less. Eventually, with this, the brain learns to recognise when the bladder is full and signals them to wake up themselves.
Some other pointers that help in these situations are:
- Encouraging the child to use the bathroom regularly during the day
- Restricting water intake in the form of sips a couple of hours before bedtime.
- Ensuring that the child has a nutritious diet to help prevent constipation
- Restricting the intake of sugary and carbonated drinks, as it may interfere with the creation of the hormone that helps the body produce less urine at night
- Using mattress protectors to maintain mattress hygiene
- Keeping a set of spare sheets and nightclothes handy
- Letting the child wear pull up diapers (This does not interfere with the brain eventually learning to wake them in time)
Following all these little tips will really help in easing the stress and tensions that come up during this time for both child and parent.
Emotional support for a child who struggles with bedwetting
In part 1 of this article, I shared my story of bedwetting and how hard it is for both my parents and I. While it can be so tiring and worrying for a parent, it is critical for the parent to keep in mind the fact that ‘the child cannot help it!’ Keeping the child’s dignity intact while helping them with any other stresses they may be going through is the key.
Dear parent, if you are in the middle of this challenge, it is a hard and exhausting time! You may be wondering what is going wrong for you and your child, and if you are doing everything you can to help change the situation. What I can say is, “Hang in there. Your patience and understanding will go a long way in helping your child come out of this. Empower yourselves with information, and empower your child with your support.’’
— Seemanthini Iyer is a certified parent educator with Parenting Matters, an organization which empowers parents to build deeper connection in families. To know more, look us up on www.parentingmatters.inwww.parentingmatters.in
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