Only you can change your own life

1.Anger, depression, anxiety, stress and addiction. These are situations where one is unable to handle oneself. Any situation one is able to handle himself isn’t a problem, it’s a challenge. Another human behavior is when people aren’t interested in participating; they have the capacity and it isn’t a challenge, but still repeat the same words, ‘I’m stressed, I’m frustrated’.

2.We don’t have a choice to choose the people we need to work or associate or to relate with all the time, it is next to impossible in the human world. We can choose what job we want but cannot say ‘these are the people who will work with me’. We really have no choice. Understanding this, let us see how we can make sure we don’t go through this unwanted experience which is harmful for the mind and eventually for the health.

3.Most of my students of the corporate world ask me, “Guruji how to handle people.” As humans we cannot avoid this self-egoistic identification till we realize the self. 99.99% of human beings aren’t self-realized. They have read and have knowledge about self-realization but haven’t experienced self-realization. It isn’t just others, we ourselves identify with our self-egoistic identification which isn’t a mistake but nature of the mind. Can we do something about it? Yes, we can, once we understand this truth. In every situation we associate with someone, they are not responsible for our life but are required to engage in work. The truth one must realize is that people associated with us in work belong only to two categories; one who has a solution for every problem and one who has a problem in every solution. This is how the world is going to be. Sometimes it’s the same with personal relationships too. A weak person will respond to the kind of people who find fault. But a strong or spiritual person will ignore it, knowing ‘there is nothing I can take that will support my growth or progress’.

4.At the same time life is all about experience. Every single person you see in life is there for a reason we’re not aware of. The Divine design is not under our control. In every situation some people will test your patience, some people will teach you a lesson, some people will use you for your skill, some people will learn from your presence. But no one can bring the best out of you unless you realize the only person who can bring the best out of you is you. Understanding this, it is your responsibility to keep yourself in a condition where you can get the best out of yourself and facilitate someone to bring the best out of you. Coming to the point, we don’t feel happy when someone is angry or scolding us. This is the same with anybody with whom you show anger, yell at or be rude to if they do not do what you want. As you will not be able to produce the best when someone is angry with you, when you are angry with someone you cannot get the best out of them.

5.Remember this simple divine truth in every situation, that darkness can never drive out darkness; only light can do that. It isn’t done by light, but in the very presence of light it happens. Same say the shastras; blood stains can never be removed by washing with blood. Similarly, unhappiness with someone cannot be removed by unhappiness. Love alone can do that. But are you capable of giving love to someone after realizing this? Not possible unless you realize; you can love someone only when you love yourself. I’m finishing with a simple instruction for my readers; when you associate with someone instead of giving a note or instruction for them, start giving an instruction or note to yourself. The note that will keep you in the best condition for best performance; ‘No matter what happens in life, no matter how many people we have to love us, the real change you want to see in life is possible only through you, for you’. That’s the reason God says, ‘Only you can change your life, no one can do it for you’. Realizing this is self-realization.

Wishing you a life of Health, Peace, and Happiness.

Aham Brahmasmi!!

— Atmayogi Shri Aasaanji is a non-religious, contemporary Spiritual Master and the founder of the Atmayoga Foundation (Institute for Inner-Science and Self-Transformation) www.atmayoga.in