When strangers become your girl gang

CHENNAI: Walking into a room full of strangers comes with its own set of second thoughts. Who do you talk to? Will there be awkward silences? For Sahana and Prithvinka, those were some of the thoughts they carried into MyRafiky’s women-only gathering in Chennai on Sunday. But within minutes, smiles, introductions and small conversations began to make the unfamiliar room feel a little less so.

“I came here completely on my own with so many second thoughts running at the back of my head,” says Prithvinka. Expecting awkward silences, she instead found herself welcomed by the host and the women around her. She began by talking to the host and the person sitting next to her and, by the end of the event, had interacted with almost everyone in the room.

The gathering, ‘Saree, Brunch & Art with Rafiky’, brought women together at Sashwatha Cafe, Anna Nagar, for an afternoon of sarees, mallipoo, brunch, mandala-making and conversations. But beneath the activities was a simpler idea: creating a space where people could meet without needing an existing friendship or professional connection.

For Jefin Manojline, Founder of MyRafiky, that idea comes from the connection between mental health and loneliness. “We started MyRafiky as a mental health community because we believed that mental health and loneliness are two sides of the same coin. You can have people around you and still feel incredibly alone,” Jefin says.

“I think what people are missing is intentional presence,” he adds. Everyday conversations can be rushed or distracted, whereas a space created specifically for connection allows people to listen and stay in the conversation.

When making friends becomes difficult

For Sahana, the gathering brought up a feeling she had been missing: making friends without an agenda. “As adults, we all look forward to networking with new people and sharing our LinkedIn IDs more than making friends. I sometimes used to wonder where the joy of making friends disappeared. I missed the times when the only reason someone came and said hi was to be my friend,” she says.

She had been curious about communities such as MyRafiky but was hesitant about attending alone. Eventually, she decided that waiting for someone to accompany her might mean never taking the step.

Prithvinka, too, came out of curiosity and a desire to do something for herself. Conversations soon moved beyond introductions, with women discussing friendships, navigating their 20s, figuring out life and the difficulty of meeting people as adults.

“It was comforting to realise that a lot of the things I thought were just my own thoughts were actually things other women were feeling too. I came in knowing nobody and somehow left knowing little pieces of so many people’s stories,” she says.

From strangers to a community

The shift from strangers to a sense of belonging happened gradually. For Prithvinka, it was the smiles and the realisation that others had arrived with the same uncertainty. The more they spoke, the more she felt like she was among her “girl gang”.

Jefin says MyRafiky’s focus is to ensure that such gatherings do not become merely Instagrammable experiences. The team introduces participants and guides conversations, while hosts remain attentive to anyone who might need help entering a conversation. “The aesthetic may bring someone into the room, but the quality of the interaction is what makes them want to come back,” he says.

According to Jefin, those interactions have sometimes continued long after the events. People who met through MyRafiky have gone on trips together, become close friends and even attended weddings of people they first met through the community. For someone wondering whether to attend alone, Jefin’s answer is simple: not knowing anyone is often what many people in the room have in common. Participants do not have to arrive confident or outgoing; they only have to take the first step.

For Sahana, “the hardest part is just walking through the door,” she says. “Once you’re there, the smiles, the conversations and the activities make it so much easier. And you never know, you might walk in alone and walk out with a little girl gang of your own.” For the next MyRafiky event, check their social media handles.