Right approach to happy relationships

We have our near and dear ones in each sphere of our relationships. We also want good things for not only our near ones but also whom we like. For example, a person could be very magnanimous or even a great philanthropist, but it is impossible for him to have the same intensity of love, care and concern for his neighbour’s children as he has for his own. Because he has a relationship with them. This is the blunt truth as per Manodharma. One may free himself of attachment but never of a relationship. 

It is important to understand that ‘relationship’ is different from ‘attachment’. A relationship means that which is connected to you even when you are disconnected from yourself. It has the power to control you without your permission anytime, throughout life. Those in a relationship with you will respond to you in every situation and for every emotion of yours. However, in case of attachment you will not get the expected response. For example, your attachment to a person, your car, a celebrity etc. 

For life to be right, the primary need is to keep the conditions in a relationship right. However, what we constantly attempt doing is ‘keeping the person in the relationship right’. In other words, trying to change the person in the relationship rather than changing the attitude of the relationship. 

To be sure of having a wonderful relationship, there should be a shift from expecting to facilitating; this is the difference between a normal and a spiritual person. Normal persons think about the expectations they have in the relationship but a spiritual person will find out the expectations of the person with whom they are in a relationship. Instead of expecting they will support the person in the relationship to achieve their goals or attain their pur pose easily and effortlessly. 

You need to understand that in a relationship you are a team together. That which they don’t possess, you support them in and that which you don’t possess they will support you back. Once you start facilitating the people you are in a relationship with; miraculous experiences will follow. Not only will they facilitate you in return but will contribute to every aspect of life of your life. At the core, this is the reality of all relationships. 

The fundamental rule of any form of love is that during good times, we out of illusion want to spend time with the things or people we love. But it is during times of trouble that you will truly know who loves you. During the good times itself you should recognise and start spending time with the people who love you. This will keep you away from bad times, all the time. You will no more need to seek love, life will shower love on you. 

Know that love is not everything, but everything is in love. 

Wishing you a life of abundance in peace, health and happiness. 

Aham Brahmasmi!!