CHENNAI: For countless women, a routine bus journey marks the beginning of an unspoken trauma that lingers long after the ride ends. Unwanted touches, lingering stares, and the instinct to freeze during a crowded bus ride are further violated online, where aggressive and narcissistic behaviour on social media trivialises harassment and recasts women’s pain as something negotiable, even laughable.
With the recent Kerala bus incident, comment sections are increasingly dominated by men performing victimhood, diverting attention from structural violence to personal grievance. “Harassment shouldn’t be mocked, be it for any gender,” says Archanaa Seker, a Chennai-based feminist rights activist. The deflection dilutes the seriousness of harassment, framing it as an overreaction rather than a pattern deeply embedded in everyday life. Fuelled by algorithms that privilege outrage and engagement, such narratives spread quickly, rewarding hostility and silencing empathy.
Recalling how even the #MeToo movement faced similar backlash and mockery from men, saying, “Can’t talk to a woman, she will say Me Too”, Archanaa says such behaviour is moving towards a narrative in which men claim they cannot walk on roads or need a separate bus because of fear of being falsely accused. Yet women have been facing trauma for ages, and it has largely been silenced.
“When such things are mocked, it tells how insensitive we are. Despite years of trying to build conversations and understanding around these issues, people are now creating content for their own social media mileage based on years of women’s trauma. They are doing this freely because they remain unquestioned,” she adds.
The problem Archanaa foresees is that online mockery masks the experiences themselves. “Earlier, women remained silent because they didn’t want to be viewed as a problem, owing to notions of honour and shame. Now, silence grows out of fear of mockery,” she notes.
With such abusive and demeaning jokes, survivors are compelled to relive their experiences in public forums where disbelief and mockery outweigh understanding. Many retreat into silence, while younger women absorb a chilling message: their safety will always be debated.
It is a basic right to live safely. There was a time when humour was used to shed light on social issues and oppression. But now, it is cleverly and selfishly reduced to create insensitive narratives, leading to a lack of understanding of the real issueArchanaa Sekar, feminist rights activist
Three months ago, it was late at night when Sindhuja (name changed) was travelling to her hometown from Chennai on a crowded government bus. In a three-seater, she tucked herself into the corner seat near a pole, where a man stood comfortably beside her. “After some time, he started frottaging against me. When I politely asked him to move away a little, he refused and continued the act,” says a teary-eyed Sindhuja, recalling the horror. When she raised her voice, the middle-aged man moved away but began verbally abusing her indirectly.
“His ego was hurt when I didn’t accept the disgusting behaviour. The most baffling moment was that no other men even raised their heads or stood with me; they just remained spectators,” the 29-year-old recalls.
Sindhuja says she has been facing such harassment since her college days, even from bus conductors. “It is a harsh reality that most women would have faced at least one instance of harassment in their lifetime,” she states.
Sivashankari (name changed) endures tiring days commuting at least 40 km daily to sell vegetables. A widow with a son and daughter, she is the sole breadwinner, fighting against the odds to provide a good education for her children.
“It’s absolute trauma to travel in public transport, be it bus or train. We need to tolerate many things to earn a living, which at one point pushes us into the dark. If being a woman is difficult in this society, surviving as a single mother is gruelling,” she shares with DT Next, as she sits near a bus stand, keeping her vegetable basket aside.
“This happened a couple of years ago, when I was travelling with my newborn son. The person sitting opposite me was making objectifying gestures. I was horrified that they didn’t even spare a woman with a baby. I face many such instances regularly, but I couldn’t lodge a complaint or fight back because of family commitments. There’s always a chance my life could be in danger if I hurt these people’s egos. So, I silently sail through the male gaze, waiting for a day I can travel without fear,” hopes the 37-year-old.
Feminists argue that men’s failure to recognise the early age at which harassment begins reveals a refusal to confront uncomfortable truths. Social media researchers warn that when narcissism and aggression become normalised online, collective sensitivity erodes.
“We still have a long way to go to dismantle patriarchy. With just a couple of incidents, men conveniently use the victim card, while the nuances and layers of the case are not observed,” states the activist.
Abusive, aggressive, and mocking behaviour on online platforms reflects how much work remains to build a compassionate, understanding, and equal society. “It is a basic right to live safely. There was a time when humour was used to shed light on social issues and oppression. But now, it is cleverly and selfishly reduced to create insensitive narratives, leading to a lack of understanding of the real issue. Netizens do not have the expertise to decide who is the culprit and who is the victim,” Archanaa affirms.
When asked about how women misuse provisions safeguarding them from abuse and violence, Archanaa responds, “Yes, I agree that some women abuse laws implemented to protect them, such as domestic violence, sexual abuse, and dowry laws. However, over 90 per cent of evidence-based cases involve women as victims. These cases need to be dealt with individually, rather than painting an entire movement and its struggles in a negative light. In my opinion, such blanket arguments are immature.”
How does the normalisation of mockery and misogynistic humour on social media reflect deeper societal attitudes towards gendered violence?
This is not a digital accident. Rather, it reflects social realities. Over time, mockery has become increasingly acceptable, and the biggest problem is that the trauma is still not fully recognised. It is often viewed as something not-so-serious and has become ‘content’ for influencers to debate. Influenced by such debates and narratives, people shift their stance and bash others without delving deeply into the issue. Abusive, mocking, and misogynistic comments affect not just the person involved but also those who have undergone similar experiences. Everything is reduced to mere sensationalism.
How often do online trends amplify dominant power structures, such as patriarchy, rather than challenge them, especially during viral controversies?
Viral trends tend to reinforce this hierarchy and it is quite visible now. Dominant voices are amplified, creating and setting narratives. Though we believe we have become open-minded, we still stick to narratives that nurture the patriarchal mindset hiding in our minds. This phenomenon remains unchanged, but it is now being questioned, which is a positive development. To gain fame using viral, misogynistic trends, content creators often leave behind ethics and moral responsibility.
What does the speed at which ridicule spreads online, compared to empathy or fact-based discussion, tell us about our collective digital behaviour?
Anonymity is the biggest strength of online media. People vent suppressed behaviours while their identities remain hidden. This leads to misuse and abuse of other users, which can affect mental health due to repeated exposure to such content. Compared to empathy or fact-based discussion, users believe that hate content garners more likes and shares. This is a structural outcome of years of tolerance by users.
Where should the line be drawn between freedom of expression and social responsibility on digital platforms, particularly when content causes real-world harm?
Freedom of expression is crucial, but it is not absolute. We should exercise moral responsibility when sharing our opinions. It should not incite violence or hatred. I feel that rather than leaving it to individuals to draw the line, online platforms should curate content and impose restrictions. This can provide a faster, more effective solution.
What ethical responsibilities do platforms share in shaping conversations that do not retraumatise survivors or legitimise hate?
Anyone with a smartphone can set a narrative! Social media users should understand their responsibility in shaping beliefs and ideals. Instead of mocking and trivialising sensitive issues, influencers can create genuine content. Clickbait culture should be eliminated for a more compassionate digital space. Platforms should enforce strong policies to monitor user behaviour and establish a code of conduct. The onus lies on individuals as well, but platforms must take stringent actions to check harmful behaviour.