Entry doors do not guarantee exit in the US

Planting a foot on American soil is a dream shared by many across the world. The promises offered by this ‘land of opportunity’ attracts all who dare to dream. Planning and preparation for the entry are often an elaborate process that begins early in the homeland.

No sooner than setting foot, immigrants start to realise that the American entry doors work mostly one way. For, the lucky ones with successful entry plans find their own exit plans cheat them.

Some receive their evacuation notice much earlier than expected, while others, no matter how hard they try, never succeed in locating the exit doors. And, mind you there are still other smart ones who exit out only to find themselves back again too soon. But to a vast majority, the exit doors do not matter. Undoubtedly there is something magical here that goes unexplained.

Does this make a difference? Yes, totally as the adjustment outfits that immigrants wear at various stages of their stay varies with compelling situations.

As an immigrant, one could bring a couple of suitcases but soon will witness his possessions piling. Every dollar bill that enters the purse is earned by sweat after the entry, making it an exciting phase for anyone.

Be it the first car that one buys or the first condo that one rents, to the public parks where one enjoys a peaceful morning stroll, the welcome smile of any stranger seen on the road, the common laundry rooms that one waits in queue for, the public school that ones’ child studies free of charge are all just the exciting experiences that an immigrant cherishes. But this honeymoon period ticks away too soon.

During this phase, the only thought that holds one is that of making the most of the new opportunity before returning. The goal veers around extending the period of stay. The residing duration is often determined by the stamping on the visa paper. On entering the country as a student getting a suitable placement would be the concern. If on H-1B, then expected extensions are indeed a cause for worry. The honeymoon period ironically expresses uncertainty of the relationship although this never stalls the progress.

It is here the best of life changes happen on chasing the American dream begins. Marriage, dream house, dream jobs, children, their education, social life, vacationing around the world and what not. Everything enjoyable, good enough that the steep curve of joy soon sees a plateau and the enthusiasm too gets satiated. With the green card and citizenship process, one suddenly feels strangely emancipated. Most people think their ‘free will’ can be put to work with no more controls of the visa paper on their lives. The lookout for exit doors starts creeping at this juncture but the real-life situation and commitment tie them down.

“Today after 15 years, I feel that we could have reached the exit doors much easier had our visa extensions been rejected then. Would you call this regret? Not at all. Just a desire to go back. Our belief that ‘if we could have toiled to reach the entry doors, exiting was our own design,’ is a myth. The luxury, comfort or the independence that once beckoned no longer seem exciting. When everything else is so conducive to return, the road to exit seem to be sealed tight,” lamented Ramaswami Raghavan.

“Today our children apply brakes on our accelerated journey. Just in high school to think of an exit is no option. Those who do force to find themselves out find the back-home adjustments harder that theyreturn again to the US. For many, the citizenship that gives a choice to go back to India is the one that draws them back too,” rues Radha Parthasarathy, who came back after a brief exit.

“We moved into the US with just two suitcases and our plan was to stay till my husband’s short-term project got concluded. Twenty-one years have elapsed and we are still here with no regrets or remorse except missing the memories back home. The two suitcases still remain in my attic of the single-family home but the GPS never seems to locate the path to exit,” said Saanvi Gopal.

A lot of adjustments and compromises seem to tighten their hold on the immigrants who slogged away to come just to continue to stay. Each and every family event, big and small, the moments of joy with parents and the extended family, the nursing option for ailing parents and what not. At every stage, the trained and forced mental and emotional transformation by the immigrants to accept these packages of immigration is not often acknowledged. The success is manifested by the creation of a whole new world of friends and family that one re-creates in their life abroad. The diversion through social and cultural institutions and their activities are worth the mention.

“Living in New Jersey, I find a sea change in recent years. For instance, a weekend is filled with some cultural or religious engagement that keep us busy and connected with the little memories from our home land. With over dozens of temples around, cultural events, music concerts, religious discourses, baby showers, marriages, what not to attend. This is typically a new trend not visible 20 years ago when we were in our prime” recalls the seventy-five-year-old Rajaswamy.

These are just healthy trends that help keep calm when the road leading to an exit becomes elusive. The adjustments prepare us for the life ahead no doubt, but beware if you are planning to enter the land of opportunities. Do not think you have access to the exit doors at your own will. That’s the promise the dreamland assures.