See how far you can go with acceptance

Life is all about acceptance. And when we learn the art of accepting whatever comes, whether it is a situation or business outcome, or a partner, it is the acceptance that makes it successful. Even bacteria mutate to survive in a hostile atmosphere, so why can’t we? We have to learn to constantly adapt to situations without being so disturbed. There is no perfect human being. We are colliding against each other with our imperfections. If we are seeking perfection, we have to question ourselves first: am I perfect? Many people want to know if horoscopes are important in determining the right partner. Perhaps the best way to answer this question is to share the example of Lord Rama from the Ramayana. All the rishis checked, double checked and triple checked the horoscopes at the time of his marriage to Sita, yet Rama had to struggle for fourteen years with his wife, making her go through difficult tests. She had to endure an ordeal of fire after her abduction by Ravana. What sort of a husband was he?

Sita boldly suffered everything. As Swami Vivekananda put it, there has never been a woman like Sita on this planet and there shall never be. Even the most chaste, pure woman was questioned, not by an ordinary man but by a divine incarnation. So it is better not to expect too much. When we are able to accept what life throws at us, we can move on happily. Even the most perfect match can be disastrous, because we do not know what previous samskaras will surface when, and what new samskaras are forming now.

Our responses to life are very complex, and they become all the more obvious when we ask ourselves two questions: “How well do we accept our faults?” and “How well do we accept the faults of others and the circumstances around us?” It is worth pondering over our responses deeply, because if we keep accepting everything, what is the point in continuous improvement towards perfection? “I accept my imperfections. I am so happy and I am at peace. I don’t have to change.” Is that sort of acceptance useful?

You probably know the joke where the husband comes home rushing to his wife and says, “Pappa and mummy are coming this evening.” He gives this news to her with so much joy but his wife starts grumbling, “Not again! Why do they keep coming so often?” The husband just keeps quiet. Then, in the evening, the doorbell rings and she sees her own parents standing outside! She is so happy. What happened to acceptance there?

We accept certain situations with so much joy and have aversion to others. It is when our hearts become small that acceptance bids goodbye. We easily accept people and their idiosyncrasies when they are our own. When they are not our own, it is a different matter. But spirituality says something else. So please think about it. Whenever any situation in your family, your business or your work environment demands a certain level of acceptance, see how far you can go. Keep thinking.

(To be continued…)

(This is the first part of a two-part seriesexcerpted from the book, Designing Destiny)