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Have you considered your motive in blaming others?
When you get angry or you blame somebody, you feel a heavy load on your head. You feel uncomfortable inside, and you spread unpleasant feelings all around you too. Blaming does not give you anything positive in return.
Instead, owning responsibility for all your experiences in life makes you powerful and will put an end to grumbling, planning counter attacks, explanations, and all those host of negative tendencies. Owning full responsibility, you become free. Here are five tips to get yourself out of the tendency to blame and move towards higher levels of awareness and a more positive way of life.
Blaming is not going to give you anything positive in return:
What is the use of blame? See, you blame someone and if that person is really a culprit, for the first time it will provoke him or her, but if you keep blaming, he becomes numb to it; he does not care. Suppose someone is a real thief, and you keep telling him, ‘You are a thief’, you are wasting your time blaming him, because every time you say it, it does not matter to him. It does not touch him at all. So, a true culprit does not get affected by your blaming him or her. Instead of blaming them, take this opportunity as an exercise for you to maintain your equanimity and your inner balance. If everything is okay, if everybody is praising you and you say that I am a very balanced person, it doesn’t mean much.
Blame reflects lack of communication:
If your intention is to correct a person, you cannot correct them by blaming them. You can only correct them with love, compassion and communication. Blame means no communication. If someone is a real culprit and you want to correct them, you can only do it through communication. And if he or she is not a real culprit, then your whole exercise is futile.
Switch from blame to constructive criticism:
Blaming results from anger, jealousy, hatred and does not work. It does not yield any result. Instead, give constructive criticism with compassion. A criticism should go with compassion and care; only then it works
Above all, be patient:
If you have patience then you can turn any situation, event or place, into heaven. If you lack patience, you will make heaven into hell. It is impatience that destroys situations and the environment. Learn to accept other people’s point of view, and above all, be patient, as no endeavor will be successful without patience.
— The writer is the founder of Art of Living Foundation and can be reached www.artofliving.org