Parenting Matters: Dealing with your spoilt brats

It’s important to know how to deal with a spoiled brat to maintain your sanity and avoid unpleasant and unnecessary confrontations. You can take steps to avoid conflicts and issues from occurring, especially if you know you are dealing with one. 

To effectively resolve an issue with a spoiled brat, you first need to take a deep breath and get control of your emotions. You may start getting annoyed at this point, but it is important that you try to act sane. Don’t take anything the spoiled brat says personally. Often in the heat of the moment, hurtful things can be said. Your child may scream and yell “no” at you or a spoiled friend may publicly call you out and say hurtful things. Remember that the spoiled person is acting in a rage and out of her own self-interest. You end up being the punching bag she uses to try to get her way and what she is saying has nothing to do with you as a person. 

Avoid using shame or embarrassment as a discipline tactic, as this could only lead to more conflicts and issues in the future. Instead, try to set up a private meeting with the person to discuss their behaviour or take your child to a private setting to talk about the issue. This will allow you to have a one on one conversation with the person and warn them of the consequences. 

You should try to present several options or ways to compromise when you address the conflict with the person. You should use specific suggestions or ways you can both work out the issue. But this does not mean you should negotiate or apologise to the person, as they are responsible for their actions. Instead, you should offer several solutions to keep the conversation open and fair. For example, your child decides not to eat her dinner. You may then present several solutions, such as having her eat at least five bites of her food or having her go to bed hungry. Chances are, she may take the first option as she may not like going to bed on an empty stomach.

One way to avoid conflicts and issues when you are dealing with a spoiled brat is to make sure you have clear rules and boundaries in place. The person should be aware of the rules and boundaries so they know when they are overstepping them. This could be a simple rule, like always saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ after receiving something from someone, or always saying ‘excuse me’ when you sneeze. You should teach the spoiled brat that they must follow rules and boundaries laid out by you, as this will help you establish limitations around their behaviour. 

It can be easy to ignore moments when your child is playing quietly or getting along with his/her siblings in public and only focus on the moments when he/she is acting out. But you should go out of your way to acknowledge and reward any good behaviour your spoiled brat displays. You may reward them with kind words, taking a moment to say, “I appreciate how you are playing well with your sisters”, or “You’re doing a great job staying quiet and calm”. You may also reward them with a surprise outing, a special toy, yummy treats or a fun activity you can both enjoy together.