Science of Parenting: Little behavioural issues you shouldn’t ignore

Your child may be incredibly excited to tell you something or ask a question, but allowing her to butt in to your conversations doesn’t teach her how to be considerate of others or occupy herself when you’re busy. As a result, she’ll think that she’s entitled to other people’s attention and won’t be able to tolerate frustration. 

The next time you’re about to make a call or visit with a friend, tell your child that she needs to be quiet and not interrupt you. Then settle her into an activity or let her play with a special toy that you keep tucked away. If she tugs on your arm while you’re talking, point to a chair or stair and tell her quietly to sit there until you’re finished. Afterward, let her know that she won’t get what she’s asking for when she interrupts you. 

You know that you have to step in when your child punches a playmate, but you shouldn’t disregard more subtle aggressive acts, like shoving his brother or pinching a friend. If you don’t intervene, rough behaviour can become an entrenched habit by age 8. Plus, it sends a message that hurting people is acceptable. 

Confront aggressive behaviour on the spot. Let him know that any action that hurts another person is not allowed. Before his next play-date, remind him that he shouldn’t play rough, and help him practice what he can say if he gets angry or wants a turn. If he does it again, end the play-date. 

You may not think your child is going to roll her eyes or use a snippy tone until she’s a pre-teen, but sassy behaviour often starts when preschoolers mimic older kids to test their parents’ reaction. Some parents ignore it because they think it’s a passing phase, but if you don’t confront it, you may find yourself with a disrespectful third-grader who has a hard time making and keeping friends and getting along with teachers and other adults. 

Make your child aware of her behaviour. The idea isn’t to make your child feel bad but to show her how she looks or sounds. If the behaviour continues, you can refuse to interact and walk away. Say, ‘My ears don’t hear you when you speak to me that way. When you’re ready to talk nicely, I’ll listen’.