The American dream nurtured by many Indian youngsters can sometimes turn into a nightmare for them and their families. The worst nightmare is the unexpected and unnatural death of loved ones in a faraway country.
The death of a 22-year-old postgraduate student in Berkeley points to the disturbing trend of such increasing losses.
In a post on the microblogging site X (formerly Twitter), the Consulate General of India in San Francisco confirmed the death, which came after a prolonged search involving modern technology such as drones equipped with hi-tech cameras, specialised sonar devices and specialist divers who detected and recovered the body.
What is indeed distressing and heartbreaking is the family’s refusal to accept it. The victim’s roommate noticed signs that indicated depression, but the family is now in denial because they knew him as an “extremely strong-willed person”.
Several inferences could be drawn from the above, be it a son’s desire not to burden his parents with his worries or his not seeking professional assistance if and when required.
There are macro issues relating to the deaths of youngsters abroad which require government and civil society intervention. Foreign education as a passport to a career and life in an advanced Western nation is alluring to both youngsters and their parents.
Families often incur huge debts to fund their ward’s foreign education, especially as financial assistance and scholarships are fast drying up with each passing year.
Youngsters are often misled by a carefully and selectively curated reality that highlights the brighter side of life. Stepping off the aeroplane, many directly enter an unfamiliar world where everything is different from the Indian reality they are used to during the first two formative decades of their lives. It takes time to adapt, and not everyone is adept at it.
Be it high academic standards and expectations, workplace professionalism and competition, inclement weather, food, social norms, interpersonal boundaries, the absence of paid domestic help and access to cheap labour, or the lack of community support, no one prepares them for this, and it takes a huge toll on some of the less resilient youngsters.
Another issue is the severe financial scarcity experienced by youngsters, which pushes them into taking risky decisions such as working at unearthly hours in places such as petrol bunks and convenience stores, putting them in the path of danger.
The desperation increases when expected scholarships and other financial assistance do not come through, and families are unable to raise further debt.
Just to earn and save precious dollars, many end up in dangerous, crime-prone neighbourhoods where rents and expenses are relatively lower. Consultancies and counsellors who provide advice and services to youngsters and their families, due to business compulsions, sometimes gloss over reality and underplay concerns and risks. That is how some end up in unsafe countries and even conflict zones.
Although the External Affairs Ministry, its missions abroad and NRI associations are doing their bit in the form of safety briefings, orientation and emergency assistance, in a fast-changing world, youngsters and their parents should resist the temptation to take risky decisions that are likely to result in irreversible loss.
Much more work clearly needs to be done to prioritise personal safety, avoid violence-prone places and situations, and seek timely help regarding mental health crises.