No Filter: The duo who bid bye to dye and embraced grey hair

Shoba Ravishankar is one half of the VIBA Events duo who has provided several youngsters a launch pad to the media industry through their pageants including Trisha, VJ Ramya and myself. Recently, Shoba has embraced her natural greying luscious locks and took a break from hair dyes and looked absolutely lakshanam as many in the comments noted yet shared their doubts about kicking the dye.

A confident woman and a force to be reckoned with it took me by surprise to see her wondering if salt and pepper looked good on women like it did on men and that got me wondering about the different beauty standards for men and women.

Grombre is a supportive community that’s started to celebrate women embracing greying hair and is trying to be corrective of the Instagram/media culture of ‘perfection’ that is clearly taking its toll on people. They feature Olympians, stalwarts and regular women including young women in their 20s who celebrate each other and lend a shoulder to those who are processing this on their own timeline. It was heart-warming to see all the comments on Shoba’s post about how amazing she looked. What I particularly enjoyed was her sister jumping in to offer another perspective of how she should do things that make her feel good — whether it was dying her hair or kicking the dye and explore the origins of such reservations when she was ready to.

Shoba tells me that she has been colouring her hair for over 20 years now. The first decade was having fun with different hair colours and streaks and for the last decade she has been covering her greys and Shoba says that she is tired of it. Moreover, touch-ups every few weeks make it a high maintenance activity. As a person who convinced her mother and mother-in-law to embrace greying, I was curious to know why Shoba was lamenting going grey. “I’m happy with my hair on a day-to-day basis but when there is a special occasion and am dressing up that’s when I feel like my silver hair and gold jewellery don’t sync well. So my reaction comes from my aesthetics where I feel this limits the colour palettes I can play with. Recently, at my nephew’s wedding, I used each occasion to try out colour palettes that worked with my silver hair and I’m still getting used to my own reflection,” she said.

Prabha Narasimhan is someone who makes it seem like she was born with salt and pepper mane that she carries with elan. At an event earlier this week, several of the city’s happening youngsters were talking about how she is #goals when it comes to greying and embracing natural hair — be it colour or texture and I wholeheartedly agree. Prabha tells me that she started greying when she was 48 and from day one, she has never felt the need for henna or hair dye despite being in a high profile job. “To each, their own and I have not lost a second’s sleep over going grey. I take good care of my hair and keep it healthy and well groomed. Maybe, it was my family, who saw me embracing aging very beautifully, that ensured this never took up any mind space. Women, including several of my peers, try to keep their age from others but I proudly tell everyone that I’m 67,” she says.

As I’m approaching the start of the next decade in my life I’m hoping some of her wisdom has rubbed off on me.

Mark Twain once said: “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” So whether it’s about the new grey hair you just spotted in the mirror or crow’s feet, let’s learn to not seek approval in the form of ‘likes’ an image gets and instead approve of us being humans and wear these signs with pride.