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Secular and Spectacular: How to plan the perfect inter-faith wedding

Here’s a true story. I’m a Marwari, and if you look within my family for recent additions you get a pretty global picture. The son and daughter-in-laws include a Greek, a Vietnamese, a Portuguese, a Muslim and a Tamil.

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migrator|11 Feb 2019 5:52 PM IST

Secular and Spectacular: How to plan the perfect inter-faith wedding

Chennai

And I’m not even thinking of the extended family! That’s the reality we live with today — as a generation of millennials gets married, love seems to override cultural and geographical boundaries (as it very much should). And this has given rise to a spate of inter-faith weddings.

On the positive side, love is finally conquering all and that’s something to celebrate. But on the negative, wedding planning is super stressful anyway. When you have to incorporate the traditions of two different faiths, it can be notoriously difficult. However, if you’re about to plan one, these tips and tricks from Wedding Wishlist couples will help you navigate the journey with ease.

When it comes to rituals, none is better than a ton: “Our wedding was basically a weekend getaway with a soundtrack — a secular affair that was just a celebration of our love,” these words by Rubah Musvee, a Wedding Wishlist bride, sums up the mantra to a great inter-faith wedding. This Muslim bride and Hindu groom chose to forego both sets of traditions for their big day. They had a court marriage followed by a weekend of drinking, dining and dancing by the backwaters, making it a celebration of love rather than religious customs.

Keep it short and sweet: Choosing to go for a no-rituals wedding may not be for everyone, so if you’re looking to celebrate traditions in an inter-faith wedding, then keep it short. Shubha and Arvind, a Rajasthani bride and a Tam-Bram groom went down the short and sweet path and had a wedding to remember. “We didn’t want two weddings, so we just combined the best of everything into one. While the wedding was a morning ritual in the Tam-Bram tradition, the party that followed celebrated everything North Indian. After all, the essence of different rituals remains the same,” says Shubha. When trying to incorporate the best of two cultures, it’s ideal to not have elaborate celebrations that become a contest of which traditions get more importance.

Be generous in your use of technology: If you’re having an inter-faith wedding, it’s pretty clear that as a couple you’re progressive, modern and can take a stand. And technology fits in perfectly into this equation. Create a wedding website and share your story and a bit about the traditions and rituals of your culture with guests. It will give both sides of friends and family a little perspective into your life and background. Also, different cultures have different ideas of how gifting works. While in Baniya communities, gifts are often cash or jewellery, certain south Indian cultures don’t believe in gifting much. Create a gift registry of things you want, so your guests know how best to go about it.

The writer is the co-founder of WeddingWishlist.com

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