No Filter: Society cannot define feminity, proves city photographer

These were not red carpet events with paparazzi present — just her best friend’s wedding and she wore what she felt comfortable and confident in. It was not an attempt to make a statement or grab eyeballs but it turned out to be the loudest statement of them all and she had the haircut to go with the outfit too.

Women are defining femininity for themselves and not letting society dictate what it means to be a woman, which is a lot harder to do in the current political climate. Neha got tongues wagging and several aunties even ventured to ask her why she wasn’t wearing a saree or a gown like all her other friends who were “looking lovely”. The photographer, however, confidently brushed aside their comments and made it clear she’s the boss of her life and decisions.

She has sported a mohawk, a mullet and finally her signature undercut for over three years now. A spontaneous decision that even got her stylist worried resulted in her unique look. Women walk up to her all the time and say they wished they could cut their hair like that and her response has always been, “What’s stopping you?” There are men in the city who have used her photos from Instagram as reference for their haircuts.

Neha tells me, “I have never shied away from the tough road or the path less taken. People think that women aren’t strong enough and advise us but that’s just holding us back. I define who I am and what I want to be. I don’t make any of these choices for the attention; I’m just doing what makes sense to me. Sometimes, our life choices can inspire and empower others and that’s great. Only my parents’ opinion matters to me and they have never stopped me from trying to carve a niche or find myself as a person. I am unaffected by what society thinks I should look like or how I should live my life.”

She said something I believe would be a great opening for a self-help guru. “We are like racehorses — even when people bet against you, like society does with women, we must keep going. A horse doesn’t care if you are betting for or against it; all it cares about is reaching its destination. We all have a calling, so go for it.”

Last week I hosted the grand finale of a beauty pageant for married women in the city and I was pleasantly surprised to find an all-women judging panel. Usually, this happens only around Women’s Day and in most beauty pageants, men are considered to be the connoisseurs of beauty and are invited to judge the participants. On that particular day though, the panel that consisted of entrepreneurs, diplomats, CEOs and entertainers were all accomplished women who got along like a house on fire and were warm and encouraging to the participants. Jittima Nakamano, Consul, Thai Trade Center, actresses Sangeetha Gopal, Priya Raman and Sakshi Agarwal along with Anjana Rangan, VJ, Sun Network and Jeyashree Palam, Founder, Palam Silks, were the judges.

Nishanth Shah, the vice president of Adgear Media that organised the pageant said, “It seemed appropriate that we had an all-female panel to judge the Mrs. Chennai pageant. Women have a keener eye for detail and it was wonderful to see them quell the nerves of the contestants and be so encouraging. It was absolutely fitting to have a diverse panel of accomplished women who would ascertain the legitimate winner and also inspire each of our contestants.”

It was a show of female solidarity and shattered the trope that all women hate each other. We see this in headlines as women are pitted against each other especially in vernacular TV shows and films. Well, not in Chennai, is what this show and all of these women proved to the world. VJ Anjana even brought her little child, who was just a few months old and proved that women can juggle motherhood and work. With events like this, it seems like every day can be Women’s Day in our city.