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    What women expect from a life partner

    Women are slowly finding their voice and there is a shift in what’s expected out of matrimony. It’s no longer about financial stability, but more about equality and respect, say Chennai youngsters.

    What women expect from a life partner
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    (Clockwise) Jikki Nair and Jaytesh Sridhar; Preethi, Dancer; Abhirami Iyer

    Chennai

    A matchmaking survey conducted by Bharat Matrimony to find out ‘What girls expect from a life partner’ saw more than 1,000 women participants share their opinion. When asked ‘What’s more important to you’ while choosing a partner, 44 per cent of the women respondents said that ‘Equality is most important in a relationship.’ But a few unmarried women in the city beg to differ. They are clear about what to expect from a partner and share their views.


    Model Jikki Nair, who has been in a live-in relationship with her boyfriend Jaytesh Sridhar, was recently invited for a chat show about the same. She says that the progressive girls of today are very clear about their choices.


    “More than equality, I look for a best friend in a life partner and it makes complete sense. When the partner you choose is your best friend, then every other thing falls into place. There should be understanding and each other should give space and respect for the relationship to work out,” says Jikki.


    There was a time when the society decided that it was a mother’s responsibility to take care of the child. “Those days, women didn’t have many avenues to work. But, look at our generation — you name the field, women are there everywhere. Responsibilities should be shared and one shouldn’t burden the other with the responsibility of raising a child,” the model adds.


    Marriage is definitely not what it was in the past. Society is slowly but steadily evolving, and millennials perceive the same with marriages, especially women. “Women are slowly finding their voice and there is a shift in what’s expected out of matrimony. Women look out more for equality and respect in a relationship over financial support and stability. Marriage is no longer the end goal in a girl’s life. With strong, independent women running the society, the days of compromise and adjustment are over. Women are clearer about what they want in a relationship. This should be seen as a rather healthy change that the society needs,” says dancer Preethi Ravikumar.


    With women stepping in as equals, men are also indirectly benefitted. There has always been this pressure where they (men) were seen as the sole breadwinner and hence were forced into a mainstream job. “This often stopped them from following an alternative career path. With women empowering themselves men no longer have the pressure that was once thrust upon them. Although we speak so much about equality, it still has a long way to go, especially in non-urban areas. But one must seek comfort in the fact that there is a change happening and no one is in a mood to look back now,” she remarks.


    Actress Abhirami Iyer feels that more than equality, girls expect understanding and love (affection) from a life partner. “People say to maintain the spark in a relationship; you need to do many things. And I think it is really true — you need to give your heart and soul to make a relationship work. What I have noticed is, today’s youngsters are confused when it comes to relationships. They don’t know what exactly they want. I think girls should take time and come to a good conclusion while choosing a partner,” says Abhirami.


    When two individuals start a journey together, obviously, there are expectations. But the problem starts when each other expects ‘unrealistic’ expectations. “I don’t really understand what’s the idea behind ‘give me space policy’ in a relationship. Look at our parents and grandparents, there is only love and understanding in their relationship. When both the emotions are there, equality will come automatically. There was no necessity to stand and ask for something,” explains the actress.

    A few other findings from the survey
    • 90% of the respondents felt that everything was equal be it career, household chores or baby care
    • 74% of women felt it was more important for their partner to take up equal responsibility in bringing up the kids. 86% felt that taking care of their parents as his own was more important 
    • 68% of women are okay with their husband not dropping them at their office every day and 54% are fine if they don’t join them for shopping
    • 64% of women said they will not sacrifice religious beliefs, 35% said they cannot let go of their passion for things including dance and music

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