I have given into watching pornography regularly in social media and it is psychologically disturbing me by not letting me concentrate on my studies. How do I overcome this? Please guide me? (Vino Suresh)
In dealing with problems, it is important to become aware of one’s situation and speak about it to someone. There are series of similar queries that I would be dealing with in the forthcoming columns.
Hope it helps you and those in similar situations.
Today, social media is the most cruel distractor for children and young adults.
It diverts them to doing what they are not supposed to be doing. It distracts them towards dating, bullying, trolling, cyber crimes, body-building, beautifying, pornography and watching silly stuff.
Effects of it are contagious. The adults are not literate enough to handle the situation either. It is undeniable that social media has a psychosocial effect on us. The sense of morality is also on the decline as we struggle to differentiate between right and wrong. Addiction is real and each addiction is to be dealt uniquely.
The two Greek words that define ‘pornography’ literally mean, ‘a depiction or description of the activities of whores.’ Well, none of us would dare to endorse if the definition stoops so low.
Our conscience tends to be on personal moral virtue, with the definition of pornography above, we come to understand that it is destructive of personal morality.
Pornography leads to many deviant behaviours. The porn-consumers get hooked due to its powerful sexual stimuli or aphrodisiac effect that follows the sexual release. If such dependence is not resolved several problems surface for the individuals, family, and the society, as it could lead to a confrontation with the law.
Can anyone justify pornography as personal? We cannot. It violates public morality. Most of the countries adhere to obscenity laws. Pornography affects one’s brain leading to damage real love, hurting family and personal life and thinking violent.
It can also lead to violence and degradation of women in the society. Most of the child sexual abuses are due to this harmful habit. Some studies show that most rapists have used pornography to arouse themselves as preparatory to seeking out a victim to rape.
There are studies that prove that rapists and child molesters use pornography prior to the crimes. Even serial murders have been linked to pornography.
A convicted homosexual pedophile serial killer confessed that pornography was a determining factor in his downfall that lead to murder five young boys.
The matter can get as worse as explained. Take immediate steps to get out of the situation and concentrate on your studies.
- Deactivate your social media accounts (can always be reactivated)
- Allow the Parents to have all the passwords until the age of 18
- Don’t follow friends who spread pornographic contents.
- Be out of WhatsApp groups that are meant to share porn images. Look for support groups or good friends instead to keep you accountable. Sometimes one can come to a situation that he or she cannot fight it alone.
- Use filters. There are softwares to block and monitor websites and searches.
- Move to blocking people who post such pictures and videos. Filtering should become a way of handling anything that is with pornographic tone.
- Move over to gym or sports to distract yourself.
- Indeed, you approach to getting help is a positive sign to overcome your problem.
- If your behaviour is changing for the worse it is not you, it is your social media.
- Right away! Restrict yourself the use of social media and that demands a high level of discipline.
—The writer is a career counsellor and mentor