First few days of the shutdown were very difficult because I stay at office accommodation alone. We used to buy food from outside daily. There was no stove at home. I couldn’t order food for the first few days. Work from home is adding to my stress. I am used to the typical workings of an office. But now, even a five-minute job takes an hour at the least. There is constant communication between teams and I am working much longer than usual. Personal time is absent. Mentally, this is taking a toll on me. My mental health is worse than ever. This is true for everyone I know. My sleep has been affected. I stay awake till 5 am because I am stressed. I try to watch a movie or play a game to relax. Then I wake up at 10 am and do it all over again.
Usually, we come home from the office and have housework to attend to. That is not possible now because we are working all the time. I’ve been feeling homesick. It feels like I’m in a jail. My mother calls me three times a day, sometimes during meetings. I want to be with her and take care of her. But the lockdown has been extending and my timing hasn’t been right. As I got tired of eating hotel food, I bought a stove. I’m really depressed and had experienced a similar phase many years ago. The saying “idle mind is the devil’s workshop” is so true. Issues that I solved earlier, I find myself going back and reliving it, and feeling worse for it. My solace is my friends. I call them and get all these feelings off my chest. But I do wish we were able to step outside safely.