They are in alpha wave, they absorb everything. The way we speak, the way we curse, the way we fight, they observe everything. If you meditate and have really good vibrations, you are peaceful, you are calm, they will absorb that also. But much more important things happen even before they are born when they are in the mother’s womb. It is a crucial period when we connect to them with our thoughts. If a mother is disturbed and because of this disturbance, the neurotransmitters are of different nature. Most of the time when the mother is under stress, the stress hormones will be secreted, right? Like cortisol, adrenaline. When she is peaceful, there will be more happy hormones like gaba, serotonin, oxytocin in her system. When there is stress and toxic neurotransmitters or stressful transmitters are secreted, you think the baby can escape this? It is in the mother’s blood, so the blood is going to the baby also. We have already gifted the toxic elements, all the good elements, based on our thinking. If your husband is always harassing you during your pregnancy you are going to go mad and this madness will create so much toxic neurotransmitters in the system, it will affect the child.
It is said that in a family which is always fighting or not in harmony, either you fight or you have a flight, or you freeze. This is called the sympathomimetic response. The same thing happens with the child growing in the mother’s foetus. And when you have a sympathomimetic response, emotional response, stressful response, the blood will go more in hands and legs, you can either fight or run with your legs. The blood required is more in the limbs at that time. So, these stress hormones will also go to the foetus, the blood supply will be more in the limbs at the cost of other visceral organs. The children born to such disturbed mothers will have a poor digestive system. But the most disastrous thing happens at the brain level. Brain development, especially the pre-frontal cortex, will be compromised because there is less supply of blood but more supply of blood in the hindbrain. The back part of the brain will be more developed because they respond to fearful situations, stressful situations. When you are stressed and fearful, the pre-frontal cortex where cognitive skills develop will not grow. So, you see the impact of the thought process.
You know most Indian families, at least in the earlier days, used to send their pregnant daughter-in-law to her maika (parents’ place). Why? This was to provide that stress-free pregnancy in the familiar place of parents. If you are in the sasural, there will be many demands to be met. So, to bring some sanity, a simple system was developed. The daughter-in-law was sent to a place where she will find a peaceful environment and the baby can grow better. But we tied it up with religion. It is because if you don’t bring religion into picture, people will not do it. There is science behind all this; our people could understand intuitively the benefits of such a system. Now science is proving that harmonious family life during pregnancy gives birth to a healthy child.
Education, I think, is a very small thing for us to develop a great personality. A family begins much before the conception can happen. What kind of child a couple attracts also depends on how you make love to each other. If you are mating like animals, only tamasic souls will descend in the family. We can’t blame the soul, we have invited that soul because of our lifestyle.
Can you manipulate and become sattvic for only five minutes? ‘Oh, let me become saintly, I want to become farishta now.’ This does not happen. This quality must be there in you from the beginning. But whenever you realize that you have to correct yourself, it is never too late.
Even if your child is grown up, your mental and physical state will be noticed. Even if a person is not with you, your thoughts will work wherever that person is. When you pray for someone, it affects that person. Your good vibrations reach the person. Your children, the people who you love, your family members may not be meditating. But somehow when they think of you, and if you are meditating, they will touch into your more refined vibrations. If you become a refined person, your children will absorb it automatically.
(Kamlesh D Patel is the fourth spiritual Guide in the Sahaj Marg system of Raja Yoga meditation)