In a relationship, it’s your duty to make them understand that you love their souls more than the body and behaviour. If this happens, everyone will be blessed with an undoubted and unstoppable, beautiful relationship in life. As life is short, it’s important for you to realise that there is someone who loves you more than the love you have towards your own self.
The Essence Of Real Relationship
The very existence of humans is not to achieve great knowledge or to create wealth. These are all secondary and peripheral. The fundamental need of human existence to use his knowledge and intelligence to enjoy a great life is a possibility only with a happy and healthy relationship. Every action ours is executed keeping our future in mind and no future is imagined without having our family in heart. Everybody has to understand this truth. It is shocking to study the research that has been done on the mental state of married couples. More than 80% of the couples feel that they would have been much happier in life if they had not been married to their existing partner. For some reasons, they are not happy together. This is a fact which is rather disturbing. As per the Vedas, the real happiness in a relationship comes when we know that someone is happy because of us. It’s okay to have expectations in a relationship. In fact, you can never be in a relationship without having expectations. But you should understand that the real joy doesn’t come from the sweet words or the actions that you pretend to be doing in a relationship. It comes from giving respect to each other involved in the relationship. Each one should have their own opinion in every situation. If the other person has a difference in opinion, it doesn’t mean they are against you. You don’t need to agree to their point but you need to give them the chance to voice their opinions too. You should listen to their point of view as well. Now I am going to share four basic thumb rules to implement in your life to enjoy the best of the relationship. Let us apply these four guidelines in our relationship which, for sure, will be the source of happiness for us and for our loved ones.
The thumb rules for a healthy and happy relationship
1. Experience The Highest Sharing In Love
Every human being needs their own private space for their personal growth and understanding about the self in life. Sometimes, sharing the privacy with your loved ones is the highest sharing in love. Once you are in a relationship, it’s not okay to have a secret life. Most relationship problems occur because of this. This uncertainty and doubt is the reason for all unwanted and negative thoughts. Always keep an arm’s distance with everyone you are in relationship with. This is the practice followed in military too during march past to make sure that you don’t hurt the other person. Similarly, in every relationship, allow the other person to have their private space which I call as one-arm distance. Everyone can have a private life even when in a relationship but never have a secret life.
2. Forgive, But Never Forget The Past
The most painful process of a human being is to go through the feeling of guilt. Never in a relationship give the other person the pain of explaining the reason for the mistake that they had done. Either you accept the mistake and live with them or don’t accept the mistake and explain why you can’t take it. Never ask them to justify their mistakes done in the past. A human being asked to justify their mistake (after knowing that it’s a mistake) finds it the most painful process. Never create this situation in a relationship where your loved ones go through this process of pain and guilt. You can’t forget the past but you can definitely forgive. From this moment, try to follow this simple policy in your relationship which will retain the existing peace and happiness in your life.
3. Real Relationship Will Never Question Love
Many people, though unintentionally, keep asking for the proof of love in their relationship. It’s the nature of the human mind. In a real relationship, you don’t need to explain the love for the other person. If at all a situation arises, then it can never be a real relationship. Never ever ask the question, ‘Do you love me?’ Instead, keep appreciating their love and keep pouring your love towards them. Feel blessed to be in such a relationship and appreciate the presence of your loved ones in your life. But never ever question their love. This maturity is essential for anybody getting into a healthy relationship. There is no second opinion about it. No matter how many years you have lived with a person, you must never ask them to prove their love in the relationship.
4. Accept The Positive Changes In Relationship
One thing that will never change is the changes that you see in life. Life is all about changes. To make sure it’s going to be a positive change in every situation, there is a simple discipline one has to follow. To have a great relationship, you should have the ability to see the new version of the person you’re in relationship with. It can be your son, daughter, your father, father-in-law, sister, etc. No matter how happy you are with the present version, you should still have the ability to see the best version or maybe a better version of the other person in a relationship. This ability has the power to solve every problem in relationships. But to make that happen, one should train oneself to see a better version of their own self because only then would it be possible to see the better version of the person you are in a relationship with.
Be The Source Of Peace To The World
Even though there are many rules mentioned in the Shastras to be followed in a relationship, these are the four important ones to be followed immediately in life to enjoy peace and harmony in relationship forever. When it comes to a relationship, your bookish knowledge, intelligence or spirituality is not going to work because each relationship is different and each person is different. The best teacher in a relationship is the last mistake that you have done in a relationship. Tell yourself that nobody needs to teach you how to fix a problem in a relationship. Just listen to your teacher and the only teacher is the last mistake that you have done in the relationship. This sounds simple but it is the most powerful way to recreate the happiness that you have lost in a relationship. With this understanding, no matter how bad your astrological time or past karma is, or whatever belief systems you hold in life, these are the rules to be followed to create a beautiful world. And a beautiful world is never a possibility without a harmonious society. And a harmonious society is never a possibility without a loving and happy family. A loving and happy family is not a possibility without taking the self-effort to maintain the happiness within the family and the self. So don’t think that what you are doing is helping only you and your family. By following these rules, you are the greatest resource to the entire world to create peace and happiness, not just for today or tomorrow, but forever.
Wishing you and your family a new year full of unstoppable success and happiness in every aspect of life.
—Atmayogi Shri Aasaanji Aham Brahmasmi ! Atmayogi Shri Aasaanji is a non-religious, contemporary spiritual master and the founder of the Atmayoga Foundation (Institute for Inner-Science and Self-Transformation) www.atmayoga.in