Many young people ask me, “What is the most important factor in choosing a life partner?” I can only say, “Use your heart. And from whatever I have seen so far, the little of life I have lived, I would say do not expect too much.”
Sita boldly suffered everything. As Swami Vivekananda put it, there has never been a woman like Sita on this planet and there shall never be. Even the most chaste, pure woman was questioned, not by an ordinary man but by a divine incarnation. So it is better not to expect too much. When we are able to accept what life throws at us, we can move on happily. Even the most perfect match can be disastrous, because we do not know what previous samskaras will surface when, and what new samskaras are forming now.
Our responses to life are very complex, and they become all the more obvious when we ask ourselves two questions: “How well do we accept our faults?” and “How well do we accept the faults of others and the circumstances around us?” It is worth pondering over our responses deeply, because if we keep accepting everything, what is the point in continuous improvement towards perfection? “I accept my imperfections. I am so happy and I am at peace. I don’t have to change.” Is that sort of acceptance useful?
You probably know the joke where the husband comes home rushing to his wife and says, “Pappa and mummy are coming this evening.” He gives this news to her with so much joy but his wife starts grumbling, “Not again! Why do they keep coming so often?” The husband just keeps quiet. Then, in the evening, the doorbell rings and she sees her own parents standing outside! She is so happy. What happened to acceptance there?
We accept certain situations with so much joy and have aversion to others. It is when our hearts become small that acceptance bids goodbye. We easily accept people and their idiosyncrasies when they are our own. When they are not our own, it is a different matter. But spirituality says something else. So please think about it. Whenever any situation in your family, your business or your work environment demands a certain level of acceptance, see how far you can go. Keep thinking.
(To be continued…)
(This is the first part of a two-part series excerpted from the book, Designing Destiny)
— (Kamlesh D Patel is the fourth spiritual guide in the Sahaj Marg system of Raja Yoga meditation. He travels extensively and is at home with people from all backgrounds and walks of life, giving special attention to the youth of today.)