These inner chambers become more and more disorganised as we store more and more, just like the books and clothes in our room. We keep harbouring things, and one day what we harbour might explode unless we do something about it. We need inputs to stabilise any relationship, to iron out the wrinkles or differences, so that we don’t harbour and store things forever.
But do we have to do this each time we make a mistake? Do we have to offer another person ice-cream or candy to always pacify them? This would mean a constant investment to maintain a relationship.
When constant input is required every time there is a fight or an argument with a friend or family member, you will require greater input each time.
You may even have to buy them a Mercedes one day, if you can afford it! At the same time, it is our business to love each other, whatever the cost. You will get hurt in the process, no doubt, and there will be a lot of energy consumption from your side. But if you are prepared for it, the relationship will improve.
In a family, if you must tolerate each other, then constant input is required. In situations where you must give constant emotional input it is a broken family, even though you may be together.
In contrast, when there is love amongst all, and when acceptance is there, then you do not have to go on offering ice cream or going to some paradise vacation spot to patch things up. It is taken for granted that you accept each other with love. The conclusion is that it is the love that you have in your heart that is the input that stabilises relationships. Things are okay. There is a greater level of acceptance.
I am not talking about tolerance. Tolerance may be a great virtue, but when you feel, “I can’t tolerate this person’s mistakes,” love will iron out everything, so that it is okay. From where does this love come? From a pure heart; from a truthful, genuine heart.
Distrust kills a relationship, but in families where we are taught to love, to sacrifice, to accept and to remain pure, we are able to let go of everything. We can remove the incompatibility, by understanding this principle of entropy.
When the constant state of my being is love, then the need for constant input disappears and the constant input is zero. When zero input is needed, it means that it is the most stable relationship, the most stable family, where I don’t have to explain myself. There is no need for, “I did this because…”, “I didn’t want to do this because…”. Where there is love, there is no need for explanations.
Kamlesh D Patel is the fourth spiritual Guide in the Sahaj Marg system of Raja Yoga meditation. He is a role model for students of spirituality who seek that perfect blend of eastern heart and western mind. He travels extensively and is at home with people from all backgrounds and walks of life, giving special attention to the youth of today