A group of colleagues at a start-up was discussing why big-built men get swiped left on Tinder. Was it due to their appearance, the fact that women body-shame them or… Coming to the conclusion that ‘Indha ponnungale ipdi dhan (all women are like this),’ they walked off. But why does this actually happen — why can’t burly men get swiped right or date easily? According to P Madhavan, “Many women are scared of me because I’m a tall, large man, but when they meet me later at an event or party, they begin warming up to me and we become good friends once they see there’s nothing to be scared of.”
Clearly not a great tool for first impressions, this is not the only horrific experience this entrepreneur has had on the app due to his unique appearances.
“Most of the women I either chat with or match with don’t want to go on a date, they wanted something more! I don’t know if it is my bald appearance with piercings that gives them the wrong idea. I honestly am quite shocked,” he narrates. Tinder definitely doesn’t work for digital marketing executive Annirudh Anand very well.
“In addition to me being bigbuilt, I get swiped left or dates go south because I attract only a certain kind of people; not everyone understands me.
Most women try to be diplomatic when they decline wanting to go out, they think this is best for both parties. I wouldn’t rather they be direct but I wish my body type didn’t have to be a criterion for them to date me,” he shares.
“It is hurtful at times but people like what they like; I can’t go around telling them otherwise.” Perplexed as to why they end up getting swiped right only after
undergoing a drastic physical change, are some men, though they’ve never been insecure about their weight or body.
“I lost 21 kg over the past six months. I was on Tinder even when I was fat but I barely would get any matches. Even if I did, the chat or conversations never lead to a date,” Kevin, a software engineer recalls.
After his transformation, he uploaded pictures alongside the ones that existed and now he gets more than a couple of matches every week.
“It’s certainly become easier to strike up a conversation with a woman I meet in a bar or party these days because she can see I’m fit and well-maintained — the ladies seem to dig that.” So if a man’s insecurities about being on a dating app are not self-inflicted, where do they stem from and why do they still not get matched? Can these ladies tell us?
“Even though I have certain preferences I’m not going to either swipe right or left based on just body type,” says model Lemuel Huffman. Aishwarya R, a content writer, agrees.
“I don’t care about just the looks as long as the details they’re spouting are genuine. I appreciate honesty so I would urge men to put up clear pictures of themselves, not hiding behind a table or of Hrithik Roshan.
Secondly, a disinteresting or creepy bio is what is actually putting off. Interests of those who are on Tinder vary but I look for someone who I can have a fulfilling conversation with,” she adds.
Huffman concludes by saying, “I look for someone with a sense of humour... and also my occasional hook ups, because let’s be honest, Tinder is no place to find love. Guys that state they are beasts in bed and can turn my world upside down, but please... let me be the judge of that.”